shallowz

Title: Concludere
Author: shallowz
Rating: PG
Warnings/Spoilers: Alternate Reality
Word Count: around 16,500 total
Disclaimer: This story is based on the characters and premises of many talented people. Essentially, not ours, no profit being made, etc. This is just for fun.
Summary: Sequel to Praeambulus and Intermedius. Now comes the hard part of living together.
Thank you to Con and

harrigan for betaing. We continued to futz with it, so we happily claim all errors.
Note: Story is complete. All parts are linked.

May 6, 1865

Johnny wasn’t sure what to make of Scott’s expression, but he remembered his first look at Lancer from this hill, and figured it wasn’t too far from his own reaction. He knew Scott was tired, but was ignoring it or unaware of it. Either way, it didn’t matter, his brother showed all the little signs of getting ready for a fall. Not surprisingly, Murdoch was closely watching Scott, and reached up his hand to provide support.

Easing Barranca to his brother’s side of the buckboard, Johnny positioned himself close by, and drummed his fingers on his leg. Didn’t make sense that he was feeling all protective of someone he just met, especially for someone grown. Irritated, he shot his brother short glances, before settling on watching him. If he had to go feeling all over protective of someone, Scott was probably the best fit. Once Scott was better, the feeling would go away. Probably. Maybe.

Come to think of it, Johnny had thought he’d stop worrying about someone he hadn’t met once Scott was with them.

~o~0~o~

Scott was lost in soaking up this first view of Lancer, and it wasn’t until his legs started to shake that he realized he’d been standing too long. He became aware of Murdoch’s hand under his elbow providing a steadying support. It was past time to sit down.

“It’s truly impressive, sir.” Scott finally found his voice, feeling immediately the inadequacy of the statement, but didn’t have the words or the coherent thoughts to provide more.

~o~0~o~

The blandness of Scott’s response left Murdoch at a loss as he assisted Scott in sitting down again. Bypassing the words, Murdoch instead focused in on the way his son couldn’t stop surveying the home that he had never seen. Would Scott understand that he was a big part of the reason how and why Lancer became what it is today?

However, what was more important right now was getting this son fed and tucked into a real bed. Scott had done as well as could be expected on this trip.

“You’ll have a chance to explore Lancer at your leisure.” Murdoch settled the blanket around Scott again. “Right now I’m looking forward to sleeping in a bed again. These bones of mine have had enough of sleeping on the ground.”

There was no response from Scott, but Murdoch hadn’t expected one. After exchanging a concerned glance with Johnny, they headed home.

~o~0~o~

Johnny was taken aback by the warm, enthusiastic welcome they received from everyone on the ranch. Vaqueros rode up to the buckboard calling out, workers waved from the fields and corrals, and the hacienda doors opened with everyone waving and waiting for them.

“They did the same when I brought you home, Johnny, but were more than a little worried when it was in the back of a wagon.” Murdoch brought the team to a stop in front of the hacienda. “Everyone knows that I’ve waited a long time for you boys to come home.”

Seeing that Scott was unsettled by the attention, Johnny managed to keep Barranca between Scott’s side of the buckboard and the well-meaning people of the ranch. Scott was unfailingly polite; but Johnny was overwhelmed, and he was merely tired from the traveling. Not surprising that this was more than Scott could handle since he was long past tuckered out. Johnny wasn’t certain himself that he would ever be.

This was an awful lot of fuss.

Murdoch was thanking them all, doing a brief check in with O’Brien and Cipriano on how things were on the ranch, and they agreed to meet in the morning. Johnny dismounted amongst the fair number of folks that stayed to unload the buckboard, and one of the hands came forward for Barranca. Johnny stroked his horse’s neck in farewell, and worked his way through the throng to Scott, who was climbing down off the wagon.

Murdoch was firing off introductions left and right and Johnny noted the tension in their father. Obviously, he didn’t want to be rude to his employees, or dismiss their welcome, but Murdoch was doing his best to deflect much of the attention away from Scott. For the very first time, Johnny considered himself lucky that he had arrived unconscious in the back of a wagon. Maybe it was undignified, but it sure saved him from all this.

Scott was just going through the motions. Not that anyone else could tell by the pleasant smile, and the quick handshakes as he accepted his welcome to Lancer; but Johnny could tell his mind wasn’t quite on it.

“Later, folks, we want a bath, and I’m starvin’.” Johnny slipped in between the well-wishers, who laughed at his announcement and good-naturally went about unloading the wagon.

Johnny leaned over to whisper in Scott’s ear. “I’ll remind you who everyone is.”

Receiving a grateful nod was enough.

~o~0~o~

Scott’s first impression of the house, actually hacienda did seem to describe it better even if he didn’t speak the language, was how completely different this was from Boston. Impressive with its large and airy rooms, he felt like he could still breathe indoors.

People were bustling about talking with both Murdoch and Johnny, although Johnny remained close by his side and diverted any conversation away from Scott. He wasn’t sure how it happened, but he soon found himself standing in what was said to be his room.

The large bed looked comfortable, although any bed would as long as he no longer had to sleep on the ground. The thick mat Murdoch and Johnny had provided was greatly appreciated, but within the last couple of years he had gained an enlightened respect for the small luxuries in life, and for Scott, there was no greater luxury than to sleep in a clean bed.

There was water, a basin, and towel waiting for him on a washstand and he availed himself of the opportunity to clean up.

The evening was still young and obviously dinner was about to be served downstairs, but Scott was certain he wouldn’t make it.

“Scott, do want anythin’ to eat?” Johnny must have had the same thoughts.

He shook his head and wiped his freshly washed face. “Too tired.”

Footsteps sounded in the hall, and Murdoch entered the room carrying a mug. “Scott, I know all you want to do is sleep, but you need to eat something. Drink this down before you go to bed.”

It was easier to comply than argue, and the creamy soup was warming, filling, and like nothing he had ever tasted before.

The journey, the food, and his lack of stamina had his eyes drooping as he did his best to ready himself for bed.

He just needed to sit down…

~o~0~o~

Watching his brother’s head droop down to his chest, Johnny exchanged a glance with Murdoch before they both helped the sleeping young man finish what he had started.

Between the two of them, they removed Scott’s dusty suit, leaving him in his under clothing, and within minutes, they had him tucked into bed. Murdoch sat down on the side of the bed palming Scott’s forehead to check for fever.

“He’s a little warm,” Murdoch said as he pushed the limp hair from Scott’s forehead. “But that could be from doing too much.”

Murdoch looked up at Johnny. “We’ll watch him and make sure he rests, and eats plenty, which won’t be a problem once Maria and Consuela get a look at him.”

Johnny grinned, remembering his own experiences with the women of the hacienda. They downright babied him when he first arrived, and hadn’t stopped. He had grown accustomed to it now, and couldn’t help liking it more than a little.

“That’ll be somethin’ to watch. Ol’ Scott’s all polite and pretty with the words, but I’m not sure he’s goin’ to like being coddled. ”

With a smile of his own, Murdoch looked back to Scott. “Oh, I think you’re right about that, and I’m looking forward to when he starts chaffing at the restrictions we’ll impose on him for now.”

A strange anxiety rose up in Johnny. “He’ll get better?”

His father turned his attention back to him, and reached out with his one of his large hands to lightly grip Johnny’s forearm. A simple touch that provided a surprising amount of comfort and one Johnny was just starting to get used to.

“We’ll see to it.” Murdoch had that look again, the one that made things happen. Then his face lit up, and his tone was lighter. “One of these days you’ll find yourself chasing after him.”

~o~0~o~

Murdoch stayed with Scott during the night, dosing off in the large chair and footstool he had purposefully arranged in the room. Any movement from Scott and he was instantly awake. At one particular time, Scott grew agitated, and recalling Johnny’s actions back on the trail, Murdoch eased down on the bed behind him. Spreading his large hand across his son’s thin back, he soothed the tension out in slow steady circles, and was pleased when Scott dropped into an even deeper slumber without ever waking.

Around two in the morning, Johnny snuck into the room and wore a sheepish expression when he noticed Murdoch sitting in the chair.

“I just…” Johnny looked down as he let what he was going to say trail off.

Murdoch knew exactly what ‘I just’ meant. “Scott’s had a couple restless moments, but he never truly woke up. He’s cooler now than when he went to bed; however, I’ve still arranged for someone to head out at first light to fetch Sam.”

Nudging over Murdoch’s socked feet on the large hassock, Johnny sat down and made himself comfortable, but kept his eyes on Scott. The young man had something on his mind, and Murdoch waited to see if his son would say what it was.

The wait took a while and Murdoch was dosing a little when Johnny finally asked, “Was this how it always felt to you?”

Opening his eyes, he saw that Johnny was still watching Scott, but there was a tension in his shoulders that hadn’t been there before.

“The worry?” Murdoch welcomed the opening Johnny provided.

A slight nod was all he received in return.

“Yes, only worse. I had a different, more painful worry when it came to you. It was the not knowing. Back then I knew Scott was at least somewhere safe. I worried for both you and your mother. I could never forgive her for taking you away, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t concerned for her welfare. It’s hard to stop loving someone simply because they do something you don’t like.”

The easing in Johnny’s shoulders again assured Murdoch that he was using the right words. Murdoch continued.

“Then to find out Scott was in the war and a prison camp…” Murdoch swallowed hard on those thoughts. Seeing the aftermath in Scott’s body was all the proof he needed that there had been reason to be worried out of his mind for his eldest son.

“I kept telling myself that if I had found you and you were now home… then Scott would be too.”

Giving Johnny’s hip a little prod with his foot, Murdoch thought back to his son’s recovery. “The first day you were here and getting back on your feet was like seeing you take your first steps all over again.

“Now to have Scott home…” Murdoch sighed. “Even with the trip and not sleeping in my own bed tonight, I can’t remember the last time I felt this relaxed. You’ve always been together in my mind, but having you both here fills up more than a couple of rooms in this place.”

Patting the top of Murdoch’s foot, Johnny whispered, “Good-night, Murdoch.” And with a brief touch to Scott’s leg, he left as quietly as he had arrived.

~o~0~o~

May 7, 1865

As morning approached, Murdoch closed the curtains on the windows to keep the room darker and allow Scott to continue to sleep. Barring a couple of restless moments, the young man had slept for over ten hours, much like he had that first night after he and Johnny had met Scott.

Sitting down beside the bed, Murdoch took the opportunity to study his son. As with Johnny, he found himself wondering what Scott had looked like as a child. He accepted that he would always wonder what could have been, but he pushed aside the bitterness that came with it. He had them both here, and that was more than he had allowed himself to hope for in years.

Sighing, he knew he was going to have to talk with Maria and Consuela before they met Scott. The two of them would take one look at his older son and be all over him to eat, rest, and eat some more. Where Johnny had been a little overwhelmed by the initial attention, he was pragmatic enough not to refuse food when it was offered. The women mothered the boy, and eventually Johnny had accepted that they only cared for him and wanted to see him healthy.

Murdoch had a feeling Scott wasn’t going to follow the same path; doubting that Scott had much experience with the enthusiastic ‘mothering’ Maria and Consuela would provide. No, he would need to request that the women start off gently with Scott. But as Murdoch studied his son’s long bony fingers, he thought that would be hard for all them to do.

It seemed with Johnny that there was a part of the boy that wanted a father, and that gave Murdoch the edge he needed to build the relationship he should have had with his younger son all these many years. They had a ways to go, Murdoch had no illusions about that, but he knew he had a chance.

With Scott, he didn’t see any of the child left in him. He surmised that some of this was due to his experience in the war and prison, but he didn’t know his older son well enough to be sure.

Drawn out of his musings by Scott stirring on the bed, Murdoch waited for him to wake. The blue eyes blinked open and shifted to confused, before they focused on Murdoch.

“Good morning, Scott.” Murdoch reached to the nightstand to pour a glass of water.

“Good morning, sir.” Scott sounded hoarse. Murdoch helped him settle into a comfortable sitting position, and then handed him the water.

~o~0~o~-

Gratefully, Scott drank down the refreshing water and felt immediately more aware. Handing the glass back to Murdoch with thanks, he looked about the room he only dimly recollected seeing the night before.

“How are you feeling this morning?”

Well, Murdoch had warned him that he would be asking that question often.

“Better, sir.” Although true, Scott felt lethargic. He was curious about Lancer, but he doubted he would be up to much that day. He hated to admit it, but the journey had taken a toll on him.

“Good to hear.” Murdoch set the glass back on the nightstand. “How about taking it easy today? It was a tiring trip and we all need to recover.”

About that time they heard an excited ‘whoop’ coming from the open window.

Murdoch looked out the window. “Well, maybe not Johnny.” He turned away from the window, and gave a warm smile to Scott.

Curious, and wondering if he was remembering what was said upon their arrival, Scott decided to ask since they were alone. “Did I hear correctly that Johnny was brought ho… here, in the back of a wagon?” He couldn’t miss the anger and sorrow that flitted across Murdoch’s face.

“A few days before we were to arrive home, Johnny was shot in the back by an enemy of his.”

Shot! He had seen a several boys hardly older than Johnny lose their lives in the war, but Scott couldn’t understand someone shooting anyone in the back.

“The man who shot him?”

“He won’t be troubling anyone again.” Murdoch was remarkably calm, and if what Scott suspected was true, completely without remorse. Scott wouldn’t judge his father’s actions since he honestly couldn’t find any compassion for Johnny’s assailant.

“I imagine you might like a bath and to shave.” Murdoch was also adept at changing the subject.

As a diversion, it was a good one. A bath sounded divine and Scott wanted to be clean-shaven. He’d made it a point since being released from the Confederate prison to remain clean and well-dressed. He never wanted to see the bedraggled man who left that prison ever again.

“Yes, sir. That sounds wonderful.”

~o~0~o~

The hacienda’s amenities were quite different from what Scott was used to in Boston, but they were a luxury all the same. He took his time soaking in the tub and scrubbing until his skin was red.

After that, he was exhausted and crawled back into a freshly made bed smelling of sunshine and clean air. He vaguely recalled meeting the local doctor, but couldn’t remember his name or anything else for the rest of the day.

~o~0~o~

May 8, 1865

“He still asleep?” Johnny stood in his brother’s bedroom doorway, twirling the hat in his hands by its brim.

Murdoch looked up from his book and focused his attention on his younger son to see him covered in dust, and with every indication that he had once again thrown himself into ranch life.

Literally.

As usual, it never failed to make him smile. The grubby toddler he remembered wasn’t as far removed as he thought, and it gave him hope.

“Yes, he’s been awake to eat a little, but tends to fall asleep before he finishes.” Murdoch gently ran his hand over Scott’s hair. “I think he left Boston too soon and all this travel was too much for him.”

“Ah, Murdoch, we don’t know him well, but he’s stubborn.” Johnny leaned against the doorframe. “Think Scott was gonna do what he wanted to do whether he was ready or not.”

“Why did he come now?” Murdoch mused, more to himself than to Johnny.

Straightening from the doorway, Johnny grinned. “He’ll tell us eventually.” Putting on his hat and turning to leave, he added, “We’re stubborn too.”

~o~0~o~

May 10, 1865

Scott was a little surprised to discover that he had bypassed days by sleeping them away. He remembered eating, never quite finishing, and then falling asleep again.

Yawning, he had a feeling today was going to turn out the same way.

~o~0~o~

May 15, 1865

The days had followed a pattern since arriving at Lancer.

Scott found he was and wasn’t a part of things: More like he was part of what had to be taken care of on the ranch. He had spent most of his time in his room and hadn’t even explored the hacienda yet.

Maria and Consuela made sure he ate and rested at regular intervals. Murdoch checked on him frequently to make sure Scott was doing what he should to regain his health. Dr. Jenkins had examined him every few days since his arrival. He was due again today.

Johnny, well, Johnny wasn’t part of the regular anything, and Scott enjoyed Johnny’s unscheduled visits. His brother had a way of checking up on him that was less irritating than all the other attention, particularly as Scott found some of his strength returning.

Scott couldn’t begrudge the care he received and knew it was needed. With his slowly, at least to him, returning strength, Scott’s long lost self-esteem was also struggling to come back. Some of it was sheer pride, and he hated the continuing need for others to care for him, even as he was grateful for it.

Watching the inner workings of such a large ranch from his window was both fascinating and intimidating. Scott knew absolutely nothing about ranching or the work that was needed to maintain such an enterprise. Often, he felt like he truly didn’t belong in such a place, and he couldn’t see how that would change.

~o~0~o~

“How is he?” Murdoch stopped pacing the great room when Sam walked in.

Setting down his bag, Sam motioned for Murdoch to sit down by the fireplace and took a seat himself. “He’s improving. He’s gaining strength and tells me he is sleeping better.” Rubbing his worn doctor’s bag, Sam looked thoughtful before bringing his attention back to Murdoch. “Murdoch, the trip set him back some and he can’t afford to have any setbacks. He simply doesn’t have the reserves. And yet, coming to this type of climate was probably the best thing for him.”

“We’ll see to it that he follows your recommendations.”

“You should also take into consideration that this son could easily become as bored as Johnny was during his recuperation. He needs some activity to keep his mind occupied. He’s a very bright young man. Starting tomorrow, he could spend time down here, and some brief time outside as long as the weather is dry and warm. I think he’s feeling a little lost staying in his room and needs interaction with others.”

“I’d like to show him around the immediate area and have him get to know the place.” Murdoch was anxious to have Scott feel at home, and that wasn’t going to happen until he could spend time around other areas of the ranch and, more importantly, with other people.

“Good idea, just watch that he doesn’t push himself.”

“I will. Thanks, Sam.”

“Aside from his health, how is it going?”

“He’s distant, but so was Johnny at first. I’m… hopeful.”

“As well you should be.” Sam smiled as he stood up. “It says a lot about his determination that he made the trip. He’s not in denial about his condition, but he didn’t let it stop him. Seems to run in the family.”

~o~0~o~

May 16, 1865

Chewing on the stampede strap, Johnny watched Murdoch and Scott from the doorway, unwilling to admit the emotion he felt watching as the two men talked. Scott had finally come downstairs, and was comfortably situated on what Johnny still considered the hugest piece of furniture in the world, while Murdoch sat in the leather chair by the fireplace. He didn’t understand what they were talking about, and was completely unfamiliar with the subject. The low timber of their voices was soothing, but Johnny felt his insides twist with anxiety.

After a few minutes, he finally admitted to being jealous of the ease in which Scott could talk to their father. Maybe they didn’t get personal, and all that, but they shared interests that Johnny didn’t have any idea about. He wasn’t that much of a bastard to begrudge Scott Murdoch’s attention. His brother obviously needed it, but Johnny wasn’t sure where he fit in now.

“Johnny!”

At Murdoch’s call, Johnny’s head shot up to meet his father’s smiling face across the room.

“Come join us. Maria’s bringing some lemonade, and you look like you could use it.” Murdoch waved him in, and Johnny salivated at the thought of the cool drink. Maria made it better than anyone.

Scott had his long legs stretched out, but he brought his knees up to make room for Johnny to sit: a welcoming smile on his face. Not that it was necessary, the couch was more than long enough; but Johnny understood his brother didn’t mind him close, and truth was, Johnny didn’t mind it either.

Scott had an easy way about him in spite of the very proper way he carried himself, and right now he looked just a little bit relieved if Johnny wasn’t mistaken. Remembering his early days with Murdoch, and the strain of talking with a father he didn’t know, he suddenly understood his arrival was a welcome one.

“Johnny, stay for awhile. From what Paul has told me, you’ve already put in a full day.” There was no doubting Murdoch’s pleasure, and Johnny flushed a little at the pride he heard in his father’s voice.

Scott toed him in the thigh. “Show off.”

Murdoch laughed, and Johnny ducked his head down grinning.

Maybe they were all wondering where they fit.

Go to Part Two